Welcome back. Writer's block, that is. I have a million thoughts and words in my head, but they're clogging up my ability to press it into poetic expression. Worry, anger, fury, arrogance, sadness, anguish, and deep shame. If not more. And I can't pen a damn word of it.

Besides that, I feel like I wear masks everywhere I go. I go to work, I wear the happy waitress mask. At home, I wear the good daughter, future-pastor mask. At church and church-events I wear the believer mask. It makes me want to scream. Thank God (?) for spouses or I'd be completely mad by now.

I need a drink. A fag. A friend. A fucking ear from someone who gives a damn.

I feel like the 500 pound gorilla in the room at church. I know someone knows, but no one speaks.

And I can't express a single word. I can't even begin to try.